Dear ITV…
In which Al and company decide to bother television executives once more…
Continue Reading Hallowe’en Fun? Just Say No!
In which I take umbrage at the Avon & Somerset constabulary’s hard stance on kids looking adorable and enjoying sweeties. Well, that’s how I read it.
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The Sick Note
Dear madam, I must ask of you a moment of your time
To read this simple message, laid out for you in rhyme,
Which will, I trust, serve as explanation plain and clear
to explain to you exactly why instead of there, i’m here.
Five Stages Of Phone Loss
Everybody is different, special, unique, which is something to be celebrated. But it’s nice to know that, no matter what, there are some things that make us all the same. Like losing stuff. I’ve lost my phone.
Continue ReadingBurn Baby Burn
…my Host Body was chosen for his towering intellect and massive penis, which sadly meant accepting his “beaten-with-a-brick” face and tendency to develop severe sunburn when shown a child’s drawing of the sun.
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