Loyal followers, I have an apology to make.
I have, in past Tweets and blog entries, berated someone who I have now come to admire.
Justin Bieber, I am sorry.
I have made comments about your chipmunk-on-helium voice, your legions of devoted, demented fans and your generally irritating demeanour.
Well, no more.
Henceforth, I pledge to say only nice things about the Bieb, my personal, musical hero.
UPDATED : Later on April Fools Day…
Well, I doubt anyone believed the apology above, but just in case…
Justin Bieber is a squeaky voiced gimp midget, who should be silenced with extreme prejudice.
I would sooner face an army of the undead than spend one second in the company of his legion of demented fans, the so-called “Beliebers”
Apologise? Bieber, thou shall feel my wrath!
Did I push it with the thou bit? Feels like I was pushing it. Hmm…
You were not pushing it with ‘thou’ but I would have used ‘shalt’ after it for full effect. ‘thou’ is the impolite diminutive of ‘you’ and for both of those adjectives it looks right on!