Dear disease-ridden penis boil.

Today, the crippled putz (or Host Body) had to drag himself into Taunton Job Centre to sit down and talk to a lovely woman about this website and his merchandising income.

This was not, as he had been given to understand, a routine appointment.

No, they wanted to discuss a call which had come in from the Benefit Fraud Hotline.

And why has he been reported?

For running this website, of course.

Yes, you goat-pleasuring son of a rancid buttock, your call worked and he was called in to explain himself.

Oh bugger, claiming benefits while earning a few quid online, he’s in trouble now right?


You want to know why?

Because Host Body is not a moron and i’m a freaking genius.

You’ll never guess what we did.

We told the Job Centre about the website, quite some time ago.

We explained the merchandising side of things, making sure to explain the most important points, which are:

1) Until we build a very, VERY large following online, we’re not really going to make any money from merchandise.

2) The merchandise which IS online now, awesome as it may be (because I designed it), is more a trial run of the merchandising potential than the full range which we’d like to have available in the future.

3) We’ve made $7.53 thus far

4) We don’t expect to make a lot more, yet.

That’s right, we told the Job Centre, we went through all the details, they referred us to a small business advisor who thinks there’s some definite money in slogan merchandise but we haven’t the following yet.

So, Host Body has easily circumnavigated the shit pile which you have tried to land him in and hobbled on about his business.

He’s happy to let this slide, not a vengeful man our Jim.

I am though.

I’m not the Happy Little Voice In His Head.

Not the Chirpy Voice.

Certainly not the Forgiving Voice.

I’m the Angry Voice and I shall have vengeance.

To quote another vengeful spirit and dear friend of mine, @BlamelessNinja, “Run fast, run far, I will find you”

One thought on “An open letter to an unknown party…”

  1. some people have too much time on their hands, love you host and Al xxx keep it rocking 😀

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