
’twas the run up to Christmas
“YOU’VE ALL BEEN NAUGHTY AND NOW YOU’RE ON MY LIST!”
They could tell without doubt, Kris Kringle was pissed…
“YOU’VE ALL BEEN NAUGHTY AND NOW YOU’RE ON MY LIST!”
They could tell without doubt, Kris Kringle was pissed…
At the beginning of 2021 my then wife, a wonderful woman by the way, very sensibly realised that I was a massive arsehole and we agreed to go our separate ways. I won’t lie and say it’s been smooth sailing on the seas of singledom (oooh, esses) but every so […]
Continue ReadingThe other day, while sat at my desk swearing at passing thoughts, I felt a hunger. A rumbly in my tumbly, as a certain trouserless bear is known to say before rifling through friends cupboards to steal their supplies. Wandering to my kitchen, I found myself in possession of not […]
Continue ReadingIt’s going to be OK. Honestly. It’ll take a long time and it won’t be easy, a lot like having sex with a Wookie.
Continue ReadingSquodge – A method of mixing which involves gingerly moving food around a pan and cursing as bits of it slip over the edge, welding themselves to the hob with a sound like a snake being slowly run through a mangle.
Continue Reading