There’s a whole lot of you who are ragging on Pokemon Go. To those who’ve posted negative comments regarding this innovative and entertaining game, I have one question.

What’s your fucking problem?

Pokemon Go is a lot of fun. It’s getting people out and about, it’s helping people meet, it’s…it just is what it is. If you don’t fancy playing, then that’s fine, but why do you feel the need to rag on people who do?

There are tons of things that you all get up to which make no sense to me. For example…

I do not understand why people post pictures of their meals. A lot of the time, I don’t even care whether or not you’re taking in sufficient sustenance so I sure as several shades of sloppy shite don’t give a damn what said sustenance looks like.

I don’t get people who dress up their pets. Dogs have fur. That is perfectly adequate. They don’t need a sodding romper suit or top and tails and I sure as hell don’t need to see it.

I really cannot understand people who waste any of their precious hours on this planet watching trash like X-Factor, I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Here, The Only Way Is Essex or anything with that prick Keith Lemon in it.

These are things that you, the general (mostly Facebooking) public enjoy and I leave you all to it. I might make a jibe, I might rant for comedic effect, but you’ll never see me post anything like the crap i’ve been subjected to of late.

“HAHAHAHA! Playing Pokemon is lame! You’re lame! Be an adult like me! Do adult things. I’m going to go for a run because moving quickly makes me a better person than you and then i’m going to drink six litres of wine and watch some pricks from Chelsea talk about their sparkly vaginas, or something”

Piss off. I don’t want to do that. I want to get out there, find myself a Pikachu and ruin the Yellow gym that I think has popped up near Tesco.

I love Pokemon and the idea of being able to hunt them for real, so to speak, thrills me. It’s something that I can do with the kids, too. A fun activity to enjoy together.

I’ve read accounts of people meeting through Pokemon, making friends, having great fun. I read about one woman who was moved to tears by the impact the game has had on her son, a young, autistic lad who broke from his routine and interacted with people in a way that was completely new to him. I saw a brilliant post on Facebook suggesting that people cast spare Pokemon lures at children’s hospitals, so that the children stuck on the wards can play and have a smile now and again. I ask you, you whining bunch of joyless goits, what’s wrong with that?

Say you don’t understand the appeal, fine. Have a bit of a pop for a laugh, fair play. Direct actual misery and hate towards something which just doesn’t deserve it in any way, shape or form? You’re probably a bastard.

One thought on “I Want To Be The Very Best (And Screw You If You Have A Problem With That)”

  1. I haven’t had a pop at anyone, but I am tired of the hype. Have your fun – I am not the Fun Police – but do you have to bang on about it incessantly? (That is a general “you”, not a pointed one). I’m just fed up with folk posting pics of cartoons in random places. I have as much interest in those as you (points) do in other folks’ dinner. Keep them to yourself.

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