Yo ho?

As I am, sadly, a voice in Jamie’s head, I am damned to travel wherever he does.
Today, he went to Tesco’s, a terrifying prospect at the best of times.
As we barged through the pre-Christmas shopping crowds, elbowing some blue-haired old biddy’s who were ooohing over the Werther’s Original display, I noticed that the staff were not wearing their usual mindless drone costumes.
They were, in fact, dressed as pirates.
They’re raising money for some charity or another, i’m sure it’s a worthy cause so I decided to join in the fun.
The trouble I took to rig up a mast, tie one of the staff to it and lash them with a cat ‘o nine tails was, I fear, not appreciated…

Hi, i'm Al Vimh.

Jamie McLellan, owner of this blog, will not in fact be posting here.
He’s leaving that up to me, Al Vimh, his alter-ego, although in all fairness I prefer to think of Jamie as the annoying voice in the back of MY mind.
Several years ago, feeling a little guilty about the often cruel and uncharitable thoughts which ran through his mind, Jamie was amazed to find a voice rising unbidden from the darkest recesses of his psyche.
That voice was me, then unnamed and new to the world, but already bitter and twisted beyond all reason.
Rather than seek psychiatric aid, Jamie decided to name me and put me to work.
My name, Al Vimh, stands for Angry Little Voice In My Head, clever no?
From that day on, Jamie has been happy to sit back and watch the world roll by, knowing full well that anything he find’s irritating will be ripped to shreds by me, leaving him entirely guilt free.
You know, sometimes I think he’s a real bastard…
So, here we are, finally an outlet for the never ending stream of bile which spews forth from my lips.
I hope you all have a real good time here and visit often, truly I do.
Al Vimh out.

About Bob Awesome

Bob Awesome, a good friend of Al-Vimh,  is in fact so incredibly awesome, that at his birth the doctors and nurses were blinded by the sheer awesomeness radiating from him.
This sadly did not work out well for his mother when they came to stitch her up.
Luckily, in the few minutes it took them to make a complete mess of it, Bob Awesome had earned his medical degree and soon put things right.
How very awesome of him!

…I am losing my patience…