Well hello me hearties yo-ho and welcome to 2025 which thus far looks a lot like 2024 but with more hangovers. Not for me though, oh no, I was too smart for all that nonsense this year. Last year. Yesteryear? Oh who gives a shit, 2024 deserved to be forcefully […]
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“YOU’VE ALL BEEN NAUGHTY AND NOW YOU’RE ON MY LIST!”
They could tell without doubt, Kris Kringle was pissed…
At the beginning of 2021 my then wife, a wonderful woman by the way, very sensibly realised that I was a massive arsehole and we agreed to go our separate ways. I won’t lie and say it’s been smooth sailing on the seas of singledom (oooh, esses) but every so […]
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It’s going to be OK. Honestly. It’ll take a long time and it won’t be easy, a lot like having sex with a Wookie.
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Squodge – A method of mixing which involves gingerly moving food around a pan and cursing as bits of it slip over the edge, welding themselves to the hob with a sound like a snake being slowly run through a mangle.
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