It’s All Gone A Bit Far

A news story, brought to my attention by the always lovely Flayman, has me frothing at the mouth more than i’ve ever mouth-frothed and by CRIKEY I have frothed in the past. The story concerns a young lad who decided to make a joke on Facebook. A joke about riots. Here, have a read of this.

When first wondering how best to address this issue, all I could come up with was BALLS! BALLS! BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS!!! It’s ridiculous. This lad decided to have a bit of a laugh at the expense of a difficult time. Fair dinkum. When I heard that Pavarotti had died my immediate reaction was to make a joke about the Three Tenors being down to a score. Not my best work and most assuredly in bad taste but if you don’t laugh at all the awful crap that goes on in this world, you’ll never stop crying.

Now this chap faces a “lengthy custodial sentence”, which is quite frankly a fucking outrage. You know what a suitable punishment would be? Sod all, obviously, but if the judicial types are dead set on giving him a telling off, i’d like to see this happen…

JUDGE: “You have been found guilty of breach of the peace, somehow. We’re not sure how. Stupid really, huh? Ah well, i’ve got to do something about it now I suppose.”

LAD: “It was a joke, your honour. I’m truly sorry.”

JUDGE: “Obviously it was a joke, but it’s these damnable jobsworths you see, my hands are tied.”

LAD: “I understand. I hope you won’t be too hard on me?”

JUDGE: “I’ve no idea. Not a custodial sentence, obviously. That would be sodding ridiculous, right?”

*laughter throughout the court*

JUDGE: “Well, do you promise to delete any friends from Facebook who might be stupid enough to think you actually wanted them to riot?”

LAD: “Absolutely!”

JUDGE: “Good enough for me. On you go, you cheeky wee scamp”

That would do me. What i’d really like to see, mind you…

JUDGE: “He’s up for what? Bollocks! Case dismissed.”

But that won’t happen. Here’s my favourite piece of drivel from the article.

Sheriff George Way deferred sentence until next month for background reports – and released Allan on bail conditions including a ban on using the internet.

But he warned Allan: “On a comparative basis a very lengthy custodial sentence is inevitable.”

Inevitable. In-fecking-evitable. How? How is it inevitable? Surely common sense and basic human bloody decency should prevail here. Someone has to look at this case and say “Y’know, sending this lad down for several years…well, that’s just bloody stupid”.

But no, that won’t happen. Do you know why? Because people are that stupid.
I tell you, it’s enough to make me want to riot.


Home Sweet…Oh.

Let me offer you a hypothetical situation, if I may?

A young couple are thrilled to find that they are expecting a child.
They both work but are struggling to get on to the property ladder and private rent is too costly.
They apply for and are accepted into council housing.
Thrilled, they move in to their new home and begin their new lives.
They do their damndest to raise their child to be kind, honest and law-abiding.
But something doesn’t quite work out and this lad, now a teen, commits an opportunistic crime during the riots.
Saddened and disappointed, they accept that he must be punished, they take him to his court date and they shed a tear as their baby boy is sent to jail for six months.
What they don’t do is return to their family home to await his return and rebuild their lives, because the council have evicted them.
I think the best way to sum up my opinion here is with the delightful simplicity of BULLSHIT.

There are very few things in this world which can be safely viewed in black and white terms, this whole “EVICT THE RIOTING SCUM!” idea needs some thought, don’t you think?

Facebook’s solved it folks

Well, little spot of trouble in London of late, huh?

It’s incredible to sit back and watch this hell unfold, the country is literally tearing itself to pieces.

And who is to blame?

Tricky one that, no?

The root cause of the unrest, the dissillusionment that a large proportion of people in this country feel, is down to the government.

Does this mean that the government is to blame for the damage and suffering which we have seen?

No, of course not, the blame for that lies at the feet of those who committed the crimes.

I’m not one hundred percent certain where I stand on this issue, I don’t care for the way the previous government left the country, I don’t agree with the coalition’s so-called efforts to take us forward.

Does that mean that I condone rioting, arson, looting and violence?

No, unless we’re talking about a McFly concert.

It’s clearly a huge and complex issue and one that has been and will continue to be blogged about by better than me.

The reason I am assaulting your eyes, once again, with my ranty goodness, is because of Facebook.

Ok, not just Facebook, Twitter is doing it too, but Facebook really kicked things off.

What’s the problem?

Ignorance, prejudice, racism and moronic, knee-jerk idiocy.

Let’s run down a few of my favourites:


For the sake of my sanity, I had to evacuate Facebook today.
Racism was the largest cause of my near meltdown.

Look folks, London has a racially diverse population, there’s every possibility that you saw an awful lot of black folk amongst the riots.
Along with the white guys, of course.

Even if every damn rioter WAS black, it’s still absolutely arse all to do with race.

Perhaps I have a simplistic view of the world, but in my eyes an asshole is an asshole, I don’t care what colour it is.


Bravo, you complete tools.

“There’s so much violence and suffering, what ever shall we do?!”


What the expletive?

You can not seriously be calling for state sanctioned murder, despite having next to no faith in mankind, I had hoped that people were better than THIS, at least.

We have a judicial system for a reason, it may be a little broken, but it’s there and it must be used.

The rioters are wrong, what they are doing is wrong, but even I don’t believe that they should be gunned down in the streets for their crimes and this is coming from a man who believes that Justin Bieber should be tried for crimes against humanity after that Shawty Lover balls that he churned out.


This is never a sentence I want to see.

The BNP have never had and will never have the right idea about anything. ANYTHING.

They are claiming that the riots are due to immigration, we’ve apparently shipped in plenty angry foreigners.

I…no. There are no words to describe the stupidity of this statement.

And this is the BNP, for the love of Floaty Beard, they blame immigration for EVERYTHING.

“Did you take the rubbish out?”

“No, missed the collection”

“Bloody immigrants that is”

“Here, you seen my lighter?”

“Nah mate, probably stolen by immigrants”

“My stomach hurts”

“Foreign food that, bloody immigrants”

“Bloody immigrants” should be their campaign slogan, why sugar coat their hateful, venomous, ridiculous message?

If anyone needs to be loaded onto a plane and ejected from this country, it’s every worthless, racist BNP member.

If said plane can drop them into the centre of an active volcano, all the better.

That was hyperbole, of course, because as I said earlier we can’t resort to violence to solve our problems, if you’re planning on being a smartass, you’ve just been shot down.

Not shot, of course…ah balls to it.

I don’t know how the country is going to recover from all this, but having Nick Griffin wandering the streets with an M16 is not the answer, is it?