Why Are All These Boys In My Yard!?
Picture the scene. A peaceful Saturday afternoon. Friends gather to enjoy some good times and some delicious beverages, before heading to the cinema to watch X-Men: Days Of Future Past. What could be more perfect?
SUDDENLY, DISASTER STRIKES!
My Sibling Unit (In-Law Version) bought himself a delicious bottle of Frijj’s fine Honeycomb Choc Swirl, shook the bottle and opened. DAIRY CARNAGE ENSUED! A veritable torrent of tasty milk treats inexplicably spewed forth from the bottle, showering him in sticky white…oh, I appear to have given myself the horn. One minute…
*ONE MINUTE LATER*
Back. Anyhoo, @miester84 is now wearing a borrowed t-shirt as @insensitivemind washes his soiled garments and myself and @bigfairyqueen can only sit and stare, shocked by the events which we have witnessed. Well, that’s not ALL we’re doing. You see, we’ve just emailed Frijj…
Dear Mr Frijj
I am MOST displeased. A few moments ago, I bought one of your delicious Honeycomb Choc Swirl milkshakes to enjoy with friends before attending a very important public event.
I shook the bottle, AS ADVISED, before opening. Imagine my horror as what I can only describe as a dairy volcano erupted from the black-clad plastic, covering me, the patio and my favourite battered green plastic chair.
I have now had to borrow a shirt from my friend and am concerned that given the change in my usual scent, my mother will now reject me and I will be be forced to die alone in the wilds of Yeovil.
I expect considerate compensation for this truly disturbing event and can provide pictorial evidence on request.
Please be aware that the images may shock the feint of heart, as I look as though I have been involved in a twelve hour bukkake marathon.
Hopefully they can resolve this matter and we can move on, putting this terrible day behind us.
The memories, I fear, will be with me forever.