Why Are All These Boys In My Yard!?

Why Are All These Boys In My Yard!?

Picture the scene. A  peaceful Saturday afternoon. Friends gather to enjoy some good times and some delicious beverages, before heading to the cinema to watch X-Men: Days Of Future Past. What could be more perfect?

SUDDENLY, DISASTER STRIKES!

My Sibling Unit (In-Law Version) bought himself a delicious bottle of Frijj’s fine Honeycomb Choc Swirl, shook the bottle and opened. DAIRY CARNAGE ENSUED! A veritable torrent of tasty milk treats inexplicably spewed forth from the bottle, showering him in sticky white…oh, I appear to have given myself the horn. One minute…

*ONE MINUTE LATER*

Back. Anyhoo, @miester84 is now wearing a borrowed t-shirt as @insensitivemind washes his soiled garments and myself and @bigfairyqueen can only sit and stare, shocked by the events which we have witnessed. Well, that’s not ALL we’re doing. You see, we’ve just emailed Frijj…

Dear Mr Frijj

I am MOST displeased. A few moments ago, I bought one of your delicious Honeycomb Choc Swirl milkshakes to enjoy with friends before attending a very important public event.

I shook the bottle, AS ADVISED, before opening. Imagine my horror as what I can only describe as a dairy volcano erupted from the black-clad plastic, covering me, the patio and my favourite battered green plastic chair.

I have now had to borrow a shirt from my friend and am concerned that given the change in my usual scent, my mother will now reject me and I will be be forced to die alone in the wilds of Yeovil.

I expect considerate compensation for this truly disturbing event and can provide pictorial evidence on request.

Please be aware that the images may shock the feint of heart, as I look as though I have been involved in a twelve hour bukkake marathon.

Yours sincerely,
@miester84

 

"Why am I drippingz vith goo?"
“Why am I drippingz vith goo?”

Hopefully they can resolve this matter and we can move on, putting this terrible day behind us.
The memories, I fear, will be with me forever.

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