You may call me P.
Picture, prey, a purulant putz and his pusillanimous pursuivant, a puissant pair as pleasant as a purulent pudendum.
Though promise and pledges were proffered, this polychracy (for they are no psephocracy) seems bent on ptochogony.
Their politics, preposterous! This piffling party shows a predilection toward pseudomania and pseudosophy.
Protest proudly and without pudor, for this parliament plans only to purloin and pilfer that which pertains to your future plans.
Periculous though my proposal may prove, my purpose is now plain.
I shall bring pain and persecution to this piacular plutocracy, which seeks solely to pinguefy with pennies from our pockets.
Pardon my pleniloquence, for parrot like I prattle, so it remains only to add that I am pleased to meet you and you may call me P.
(Many thanks to http://phrontistery.info/p.html)