Hey kids, your mum cooks right? Bet your dad doesn’t? Bet he sits on his ass looking like a crap, Rab C. Nesbitt tribute act, huh? Eating pizza, drinking beer and failing, because he’s a dad and not a mum?
You see, dear reader, it turns out that having cake in your veins can cause or exacerbate all sorts of other delightful conditions and health issues, some of which are quite unpleasant. Here’s a few of the things i’m hoping won’t happen to this wreck of a thing that I call Host Body.
Everyone is asleep. The temptation, at this point, to hoover a bag of Wispa bites in less time than it takes to say “SHIT, THE WIFE’S AWAKE!” is considerable. Don’t do it, folks.
If you’d like a laugh at my expense and perhaps some useful information about diabetes and life and all that balls, then read on dear…reader.
That doesn’t scan well, bad start.
“The stuff at school when my Host Body was young was akin to scraping one’s bum region with a handful of gravel, broken glass and thistles, which was not an enjoyable experience…”