The other day, while sat at my desk swearing at passing thoughts, I felt a hunger. A rumbly in my tumbly, as a certain trouserless bear is known to say before rifling through friends cupboards to steal their supplies. Wandering to my kitchen, I found myself in possession of not […]
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It’s going to be OK. Honestly. It’ll take a long time and it won’t be easy, a lot like having sex with a Wookie.
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Squodge – A method of mixing which involves gingerly moving food around a pan and cursing as bits of it slip over the edge, welding themselves to the hob with a sound like a snake being slowly run through a mangle.
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When I do finally sit down in front of my laptop, that’s it. For hour after bleary eyed hour I will type until my fingers look like chunks of Pepperami smeared with lovely raspberry jam.
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The country lies in ashen tatters.
Who will lead us? Doesn’t matter!
The lot of ’em are mad as hatters,
but Boris looks a shoe in.
I just sent a very important email to Keir Starmer, supposed leader of this green and pleasant land. You can do that, y’know? You can send him your thoughts and enquiries and pleas for common sense and general reviews of his performance as PM to keir.starmer.mp@parliament.uk Obviously I am in […]
